I'd Make Jack Benny Look

I Can't Even Find Someone For A Platonic Relationship, Much Less The Kind Where Someone Wants To See Me Naked.

I'm One Of Those People That Picks Up The Remote Control And Just Keep Hitting Constantly, Even If I Like The Show I'm Watching.

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

There Are Times When I've Had Ideas Walking Down The Street That I Thought Were Great, And The Minute I Got Onstage, I Would Think Of Them And Go, 'wow, That Would Never Work,' Even Before I Did It In Front Of The Audience.

I Was Talking To Jesus, And I Said, Jesus, I Feel Like No One Will Ever Accept Me. And Jesus Looked At Me And Said, You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.