I Couldn't Walk Up To

You Know, When You Do Standup There Are Certain Requirements That You Have To Do Like You Have To Go On Stage And When You Get Introduced You Have To Say "hey,how Ya Doin'? How Are Ya?" I Couldn't Do It. It Was False.

If I Was Going Onstage, Of Course I Would Talk About It. How Could I Not?

A Date Is An Experience You Have With Another Person That Makes You Appreciate Being Alone

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

Switzerland Is A Place Where They Don't Like To Fight, So They Get People To Do Their Fighting For Them While They Ski And Eat Chocolate.