I Can't Predict The Future

A Jew Never Laughs Without Looking At His Wife For Approval.

Predictions Are Preposterous.

America Is The Only Country In The World Where You Can Burn The Flag But Can't Tear The Tag Off The Mattress.

My Father Was A Very Successful Businessman, But He Was Ruined In The Stock Market Crash. A Big Stockbroker Jumped Out The Window And Fell On His Pushcart.

I Am Excited About Getting Back To What I Do Best And What My Audience Likes Best, I Am Writing New Jokes Every Day And Soon Ill Be Telling Them Every Night. Just Me, One Jew Talking And That's It.