I Can Remember Staring At

Soft Rock Music Isn't Rock, And It Ain't Music. It's Just Soft. Reminds Me Of Something My Third-grade Teacher Said To Us. She Said, "you Show Me A Tropical Fruit And I'll Show You A Cocksucker From Guatemala."

Swimming Is Not A Sport. Swimming Is A Way To Keep From Drowning. That's Just Common Sense!

People Say, 'i'm Going To Sleep Now,' As If It Were Nothing. But It's Really A Bizarre Activity. 'for The Next Several Hours, While The Sun Is Gone, I'm Going To Become Unconscious, Temporarily Losing Command Over Everything I Know And Understand. When The Sun Returns, I Will Resume My Life.

Bowling Is Not A Sport Because You Have To Rent The Shoes.

And Although I Broke A Lot Of Laws As A Teenager, I Straightened Out Immediately Upon Turning Eighteen, When I Realized The State Had A Legal Right To Execute Me.