I Can Be Drunk Until

The Thing Is, Whenever I See Hillary Clinton, I Feel Like I Have To Vote For Her. She Makes Me Feel Guilty Because I Feel Like I Should Vote For Her So That She'll Feel Better About Herself Because She'd Been In Such A Bad Marriage.

If I Wanted To Be Bored By 6,000 Pages Of Unreadable Dreck, I'd Read War And Peace Four Times.

I Do Like Guinness, I Have To Say, Because You Feel Like You're Eating Something.

When A Country Wants Television More Than They Want Clean Water, They've Lost Their Grip.

My Hate Of Apple Has Moved Into A Hate Of Facebook.