I, As You May Know,

The Bullying Was Hideous And Relentless, And We Turned It Round By Making Ourselves Celebrities.

The Whole Business Of Getting Famous Was Good Fun, But It Was A Long Time Ago.

I, As You May Know, Am No Stranger To The Organic Courgette, But I Still Cannot Work Out Who These Gay Footballers Are.

I've Found A More Personal, Pagan Kind Of Religion To Satisfy The Spiritual Side Of Things.

Just Because Someone's Dead Doesn't Mean It's Over. My Grandfather Died More Than 25 Years Ago, But I Still Think Of Him A Lot And Smell His Smell.