I Am The World's Oldest

My Wife Has Cut Our Lovemaking Down To Once A Month, But I Know Two Guys She's Cut Out Entirely.

My Psychiatrist Told Me I Was Crazy And I Said I Want A Second Opinion. He Said Okay, You're Ugly Too.

Men Who Do Things Without Being Told Draw The Most Wages.

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."