I Am Taking The Applause

If God Didn't Want Man To Hunt, He Wouldn't Have Given Us Plaid Shirts.

I'm Not One Of Those Who Spring Up Yelling, "yippee! Another Day!" I'll Grumble And Sulk Around A Couple Of Hours, Reading Newspapers And Trying To Pick Out An Idea I Might Do Something With On The Show. But I Don't Really Start Functioning Until Noon Or Later; Then About Two I Go To The Studio And The Pace Begins To Quicken.

If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be Alive And All The Impersonators Would Be Dead.

The Good News Is That The President Gets Another Chance. The Bad News Is That He'll Be Two Weeks Older.

The Only Issue Cash Presents You Is The Independence Of Not Stressing About Funds.