I Am A Comedian And

We Can't Retract The Decisions We've Made, We Can Only Affect The Decisions We're Going To Make From Here.

It's Like Church Over Here. It's Like Church In Here. First Of All, Give An Honor To God And Our Lord And Savior Barack Obama.

What's Weird Is When You Meet A Girl Who Is 23 And You Are Talking To Her, Even Her Voice Is High-pitched, She's Young. You Ask Her How Old She Is, She Says, 'twenty-three, How Old Are You?' And When I Tell Her I'm 41 It's Like I've Just Told Her I Have Cancer. It's, 'oh My God, How Long Have You Had That?'

Nobody Wants To Hear R&b. It's Sad. If You Want To Be On The Radio You Got To Stay Young.

I'm Bad On Valentine's Day, But Even Worse On Christmas. I Go Shopping At Nine O'clock On December 24th Every Year. Nobody Else Is There. I'm In Toys'r'us All By Myself. I Get There Five Minutes Before Closing.