How Did I Ever Get

Sex After 90 Is Like Trying To Shoot Pool With A Rope. Even Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

Love Is A Lot Like A Backache. It Doesn't Show Up On X-rays, But You Know It's There.

If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe, You'd Cheat With Some Ugly Girl.

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.