How Did I Ever Get

If I Paid Ten Dollars For A Cigar, First I'd Make Love To It, Then I'd Smoke It.

When I Was A Boy The Dead Sea Was Only Sick.

When We Played The Back End Of A Horse We Always Knew That If We Worked Hard And Did A Good Job We Could Become The Front End.

The Secret Of A Good Sermon Is To Have A Good Beginning And A Good Ending, Then Having The Two As Close Together As Possible.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.