Hillary Went To A Chipotle

Everyone Has This Sense Of Togetherness Right Now. For Example, One Guy On The Subway Today, He Wanted To Share My Pants.

President Bush Has Been Silent On Schwarzenegger. Of Course, He Can't Pronounce Schwarzenegger.

John Boehner Is A Member Of A Country Club In Ohio. It Turns Out That The Bartender Was Plotting To Poison Boehner. Now Wait A Minute. Isn't That The Movie With Seth Rogen And James Franco?

Last Halloween I Ran Out Of Candy And I Had To Give The Kids Nicotine Gum.

Remember Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin? He Vanished For 10 Days. He Had Disappeared And There Were A Lot Of Rumors. One Rumor Was He Had Disappeared Because He Had Himself Executed.