Here Is What Is Needed

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

I Pray If I Ever Find Out I Have Only About Three Minutes To Live It's During A Basketball Game, Because Then I'll Have, What, 10, 12 Years To Live?

What Do Hookers Do On Their Nights Off, Type?

President Bush Said He Didn't Want To Renew The Assault Weapons Ban Because It Might 'infringe On Hunters' Rights'. Who Needs An Ak-47 Machine Gun To Go Hunting? Let Me Tell You Guys Something... If It Takes You 500 Rounds To Bring Down A Deer, I Don't Want You Going To The Bathroom In My House!

I Just Get The Feeling That If Jesse Helms Was In Charge Of Art In America, You'd Go Into A Museum And See Nothing But Prints Of Dogs Playing Cards.