Have You Ever Heard One

Relations Between The Sexes Are So Complicated That The Only Way You Can Tell If Members Of The Set Are Going Together Is If They Are Married. Then, Almost Certainly, They Are Not.

I Told The Good Father That If He And I Were Going In The Future To Some Wonderful Elysian Field And The Animals Were Not Going To Go Anywhere, That Was All The More Reason To Give Them A Little Better Shake In The One Life They Did Have.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

Man Has An Infinite Capacity To Rationalize - Especially When It Comes To What He Wants To Eat.

Giving The Cat A Name, Like Marriage, Is Not An Easy Thing. Soon I Experienced The Selection Of Name For A Baby, A Dog, A Book, A Warship, A Sports Team, Even The King, The Pope Or A Hurricane Is Just Child's Play Compared To The Selection Of The Cat's Name.