Hail, Hail Freedonia, Land Of

A Thing That Has Always Baffled Me About Women Is That They Will Saturate Themselves With A Pint Of Perfume, A Pound Of Sachet Powder, An Evil-smelling Lip Rouge, A Peculiar-smelling Hair Ointment And A Half-dozen Varieties Of Body Oils, And Then Have The Effrontery To Complain Of The Aroma Of A Fine Dollar Cigar.

Do They Allow Tipping On The Boat? - Yes, Sir. Have You Got Two Fives? - Oh, Yes, Sir. Then You Won't Need The Ten Cents I Was Going To Give You.

She's So In Love With Me, She Doesn't Know Anything. That's Why She's In Love With Me.

Here Lies Groucho Marx And Lies And Lies And Lies P.s. He Never Kissed An Ugly Girl.

Marriage Is A Wonderful Institution, But Who Wants To Live In An Institution?