My Girlfriend Said She Wanted

My Girlfriend Bought A Cook Book The Other Day Called 'cheap And Easy Vegetarian Cooking'. Which Is Perfect For Her, Because Not Only Is She Vegetarian.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Was In The South Of France. I Saw A Brownie On A School Trip. She Was Holding Up A Book. It Said On The Front 'rough Guide'. I Thought: 'yeah' She's Not A Looker.

I Have No Problems With Buying Tampons. I Am A Fairly Modern Man. But Apparently They're Not A "proper" Present. "happy Birthday, Mum!"

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.