I Have No Problems With

I Didn't Plan To Be The Rude Middle-class Comedian. You Write A Certain Type Of Joke That You Find Funny, And Mine Happen To Be Often Rude. Yes, It's Juvenile, But That's Me.

I Was In Love With The Idea Of Being In Love With A Woman Way Before I Was Actually In Love With One.

The Tragedy For Comedians Is There's Nothing More They Want Than To Be Liked. We Desperately Seek Approval. It's Almost Like A Personality Disorder You Can Do As A Job.

There Was One Time Where I Failed To Perform Sexually. My Girlfriend Said To Me "oh Don't Worry, It Happens To A Lot Of Guys". Ok, There Are Two Things Wrong With That. First Of All Who Are These Other Guys?, And Second Of All If It's Happening To More Than One Of Us, Don't You Think It Could Be Your Fault?

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.