Few Are More Unhappy Than

After Months Of Speculation, The Sitcom Star Ellen Degeneres Admitted That Yes, She's Gay. Inspired By Her Courage, Today, Diet-guru Richard Simmons Admitted That He Is Really, Really, Really, Really Gay.

Never Raise Expectations In Others That You Cannot Realize: Promise Is Less Pleasing Than Disappointment Is Vexatious.

In Terms Of Merit, Sports Has Mathematical Statistics. That's How You Know Who The Best Player Is.

We Advise Others Better Than Ourselves.

Man, Them Engagement Rings, Boy, They Cost A Lot. I Was Looking At 'em. Cost Like A Thousand Bucks, Two Thousand Bucks, Y'know. Three Thousand Bucks. Something Like That- Four Thousand Bucks. Big Number Divisible By A Thousand, Anyways.