Father's Day Is Important Because,

Hillary Clinton Has A $350 Billion Plan That She Says Will Make College More Affordable. Which Has To Be Better Than My Parents' Plan To Make College Affordable: 'be Good At Sports.'

A House Panel In Texas Has Approved Full Marijuana Legalization For The State. Yeah, Meaning Texas Could Go From Having Dude Ranches To 'dude, Ranches.'

Bp Wants Twitter To Shut Down A Fake Bp Account That Is Mocking The Oil Company. In Response, Twitter Wants Bp To Shut Down The Oil Leak That's Ruining The Ocean.

I Don't Shoot Guns. I Don't Know How To Do That. I Grew Upstate New York, So I Fought With My Fists.

A Top Aide To Donald Trump Says He Quit The Campaign This Weekend Because Of Trump's Public Feuds, But Trump Said He Was Fired. When Asked What He Was Fired For, Trump Said, 'quitting!'