Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.

I'm Not A Big Method Actor. I'm Much More Superficial.

For The Most Part, Comedians Are Pretty Friendly With Each Other. They Always Say They Badmouth Each Other, But Most Of The Time, They're Friends. We're The Only Ones That Can Really Stand Our Type Of Humor.

What I Love About Comedians Is Their Instinct Is Always To Go Against The Grain. Their Whole Existence Is Pointing Out The Elephant In The Room. Already You Can See Audiences Are Pushing Back, But We're The Ones Who Really Can Take It More Than Anybody.

I'm Quietly Becoming New York's Premiere Actor. People Don't Understand. They Have Me Pigeon-holed As A Comedian.

I Feel Most Empires Fell When They Started To Act Human, But Then Look At Russia. They Kept A Pretty Strong Hand, And They Fell From Afghanistan Alone Because Afghanistan Is The Graveyard Of Empires. I Guess You Just Can't Sustain It.