Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.

I'm Quietly Becoming New York's Premiere Actor. People Don't Understand. They Have Me Pigeon-holed As A Comedian.

I Used To Love The Election Season'cause It's Kind Of Fun. Everyone Makes A Big Sport Out Of It With All These Different News Stories And Everything. I Like It Better Now That Everybody Knows All The Candidates From The Past 15 Years. But It Does Get Really Ugly. It's Ugly And It's Pugilist.

The Thing That Drives Me Crazy Is When Comics Say 'i Have Low Self-esteem.' No You Don't. You're Standing On Stage Asking People To Pay. You Don't Play An Instrument. You Want People To Pay To Hear What's In Your Mind. You Don't Have Low Self-esteem. You Might Have Other Problems.

You Can't Make Money On Broadway. You Make Nothing. You Maybe Make Like $1,350 A Week After You Pay Out All The Producers.

I Would Say Most Comedians Have A Very Cynical Worldview Of The Way The World Can Work. It's Almost Like If You Didn't, You Couldn't Be A Comedian.