Elton John Said To Me,

If You Wanted To Torture Me, You'd Tie Me Down And Force Me To Watch Our First Five Videos.

In Our Town, The Most Popular Way Out Was Joining The Service. So My Three Best Friends Joined The Navy To Get Out. I Didn't.

Guys Will Take One Pair Of Jeans, Five T-shirts And Three Pair Of Socks And That'll Get You By For 10 Weeks.

Miracles Happen Everyday, Change Your Perception Of What A Miracle Is And You'll See Them All Around You.

Do You Really Want To Know Why I'm Doing All This Goodwill, And Why I'm An Ambassador For Habitat For Humanity And Why I Gave A Million To [relief Efforts For Hurricane] Katrina? It's Because I Feel Guilty About The Huge Hole In The Ozone Layer My Haircuts Created. It's My Responsibility To Right The Wrongs Of The Eighties.