Don't You Hate It When...your

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.

Vegetarian: Indian Word For Lousy Hunter.

Once You Pass Forty, A Dime Isn't Worth Bending Over To Pick Up If You Drop One.

Almost All Of Us Have An Elevator Or Two In Our Lives Somewhere. We Wait For Them, We Ride On Them. We're Annoyed By The Wait But Pleased With The Lift.

When I Write, I Use An Underwood #5 Made In 1920. Someone Gave Me An Electric Typewriter, But There's No Use Pretending You Can Use Machinery That Thinks Faster Than You Do. An Electric Typewriter Is Ready To Go Before I Have Anything To Say.