Don't Invite Me If You

A Comedian Can Only Last Till He Either Takes Himself Serious Or His Audience Takes Him Serious.

They Have Passed The Big Inheritance Tax, And That Gets You When You Are Gone. You Used To Could Die And Be Able To Beat Taxes, But Not Now. The Undertaker Don't Go Over Your Body As Carefully As The Assessor Does Your Accumilated Assets, And He Gets His Before The Undertaker. They Have It On These Big Fortunes Now Where They Pay As High As 60 To 70 Percent Of What They Leave. That's Mighty Expensive Dying When It Runs Into Money Like That, And You Won't See 'em Dropping Off As Casually As They Have Been.

The Budget Is Like A Mythical Bean Bag. Congress Votes Mythical Beans Into It, Then Reaches In And Tries To Pull Real Ones Out.

There Will Never Be A Time When The Old Horse Is Not Superior To Any Auto Ever Made.

There Is Something About A Republican That You Can Only Stand Him Just So Long; And On The Other Hand, There Is Something About A Democrat That You Can't Stand Him Quite That Long.