Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

Where I'm From? A Little Town Called None Of Yo God Damn Business.

Everyone Who Wants To Make It In Comedy Goes To L.a., So A Million Comedians Fight For Time On Three Stages. If You Get In There In New York, You're Working Eight Times A Night Sometimes. Who's Going To Be Funny, The Guy Who Works Once A Week, Or The Guy Working Eight Times A Night?

America, I Appreciate You Liking Me.

It Seems Like There's Never Enough Famous White People Among Comic In Hollywood.

I've Done 10 Or 11 Pilots For Network Television, Which Is Ridiculous.