Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

At The Time, I Was Reading This Miles Davis Book, And He Was Talking About Coming To New York Right After He Was In High School. It Kind Of Made Me Feel Like, "yeah." I Didn't Want To Go To College; I Wanted To Do Stand-up. And I Figured, "what's The Point Of Doing Stand-up Around Dc? I'm Always Going To Be Under-appreciated There Because I Started There." I Felt Like I Was Strong Enough And Unique Enough That I Should Give It A Big Leash To Shine. New York Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me As A Comedian.

I Don't Want Anything Bad To Happen To The United States, But If North Korea Ever Drops A Nuclear Bomb On This Country, I Swear To God, I Hope It Lands In Hartford.

There's Not Too Many People That Don't Think I'm Crazy, For Walking Away From So Much Money. I'm At A Restaurant With My Wife, It's A Nice Restaurant, We're Eating Dinner. I Look Across The Room, I Say, 'you See This Guy Over Here, Across The Room? He Has $100 Million.' And We're Eating The Same Entree. So, Ok, Fine, I Don't Have $50 Million Or Whatever It Was, But Say I Have $10 Million In The Bank. The Difference In Lifestyle Is Miniscule.

Whether It Means Having A Show, Or A Movie, Or Just Being On A Stage, I Need An Avenue To Say What I Have To Say.

I Support Anyone's Right To Be Who They Want To Be. My Question Is: To What Extent Do I Have To Participate In Your Self-image?