Congress Voted For Tougher Laws

I Watched That New Reality Show On Abc With Charlie Gibson, 'america's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, What An Exciting Show That Is! Did You See Sarah Palin's Interview With Charlie Gibson? Did You All Watch That? In Fact, John Mccain Was Watching It At Home, And At One Point, He Turned To His Wife And Said, 'she Looks Really Familiar.'

People Want To Say There Isn't Racial Profiling At The Airport, But Let's Be Honest. If You First Name Is Mohammed, And Your Last Name Isn't Ali, Leave A Little Extra Time.

Texas Governor Rick Perry Now Says His Wife Has Been Encouraging Him To Run For President. Remember First He Told Us God Told Him To Run; Now His Wife Is Telling Him To Run. Of Course, The Big Difference; If You Ignore What God Says You Don't Have To Hear About It Until The Afterlife. That's The Only Difference.

We Live In What's Called An Open Society, Which Of Course Means They Open Our Emails, Open Our Phone Records, And Open Our Medical Records.

If Jay Spent As Much Time Studying As He Does Trying To Be A Comedian, He'd Be A Big Star.