Comedy Is Surprises, So If

I Can't Be Naturalistic Enough To Make It Sound Real. So Instead, I Just Wander Around Aimlessly Knowing That I'll Be Funny Enough With Stream Of Consciousness Until I Get To The Actual Explosively Funny Part.

I'm Thankful For Women. I Think Women Are More Intelligent Than Men. Also, Without Women, There Would Be No Cookies.

Few Are More Unhappy Than Those Who Have Great Ambition, But Little Energy To Urge It Into Activity.

Man, Them Engagement Rings, Boy, They Cost A Lot. I Was Looking At 'em. Cost Like A Thousand Bucks, Two Thousand Bucks, Y'know. Three Thousand Bucks. Something Like That- Four Thousand Bucks. Big Number Divisible By A Thousand, Anyways.

A Lot Of People Think I'm Difficult To Work With. It's Not Like I Really Want To Do That Much Stuff, So It Doesn't Really Matter. I Guess I'm Somewhat Difficult When It Comes To Comedy.