Comedians Are Never Really On

I've Been Told To Speed Up My Delivery When I Perform. But If I Lose The Stammer, I'm Just Another Slightly Amusing Accountant.

I Don't Have A Stack Of Scripts...

Doormen Are Kind Of Invisible, People Don't Know Their Names. They Just Say, Thank You, Or Good Morning. I'd Never Thought About Doormen Before. They're A Vanishing Breed. More Electronic Doors Are Being Introduced.

All Comedians Are, In A Way, Anarchists. Our Job Is To Make Fun Of The Existing World.

You Do A Clean Show And It's Over And The Audience Have Enjoyed Themselves And You've Enjoyed Yourself, And You Haven't Had To Resort To Shock.