Clowns Work As Well As

He [groucho's Father] Had Absolutely No Training, And If You Had Ever Seen One Of His Suits, You'd Realize What An Accurate Statement That Is. You See, Pop Never Used A Tape Measure. He Didn't Believe In It. He Said He Could Just Look At A Man And Tell His Size, With The Result That Frequently He'd Make A Pair Of Pants With One Trouser Leg Seven Or Eight Inches Longer Than The Other.

Time Flies Like An Arrow; Fruit Flies Like A Banana

Some People Claim That Marriage Interferes With Romance. There's No Doubt About It. Anytime You Have A Romance, Your Wife Is Bound To Interfere.

The Months Before My Son Was Born, I Used To Yell From Night To Morn, 'whatever It Is, I'm Against It! No Matter What It Is Or Who Commenced It, I'm Against It!'

No One Is Completely Unhappy At The Failure Of His Best Friend.