Canoe + Waterfall = I

To Remove All Credibility From What You're Saying Try Wearing Sunglasses On Your Forehead.

If I Have To Move Up In A Building, I Choose The Elevator Over The Escalator. Because One Time I Was Riding The Escalator And I Tripped. I Fell Down The Stairs For An Hour And A Half.

Statistics Indicate That The Average American Is A Guy Named Brian Who Lives In Ohio.

The Easiest Time To Add Insult To Injury Is When You're Signing Somebody's Cast.

I Live In New York And There Are A Lot Of Famous... Pizzerias In My Neighborhood, It's Really Hard To Find One That Isn't Famous. Which Sucks Sometimes, You Know What I Mean, Sometimes I Don't Want All That Glitz And Glamour, I Just Want Something Delicious, You Know? I Don't Need A Celebrity In My Mouth, Ray's Up And Coming Pizza Would Be Fine.