Cancer Is Always Funny.

I Got Married. My Wife Changed Her Name. I Know Some Women Have A Problem With That. But I Wanted Her To Have My Old Girlfriend's Name. So Call Me Old-fashioned, But This Fella Does What The Bible Tells.

Don't You Think It's Strange How Many Referees Work At Footlocker?

Thanksgiving, You Know - Thanksgiving - It's Like We Didn't Even Try To Come Up With A Tradition. The Tradition Is We Overeat.

They Always Give You Three Ketchup Packets. When You Go Back Up And Ask For More, The Guy Handing Them Out Always Treats You Like You're Taking From His Personal Stash. "looks Like My Kids Aren't Having Ketchup Tonight."

Failing And Laughing At Your Own Shortcomings Are The Hallmarks Of A Sane Parent.