Cancer Is Always Funny.

If You're A Guy Over 30 By Yourself In The Hotel Pool, You Automatically Look Like A Murderer Who's Just Relaxing After He Strangled A Family. "yeah-that Dad Was A Tough One To Kill."

Whatever A Writer Gets Paid For His Book, It's Never Enough. I Think That's True. It's Hard Work. But In The End, You Wrote A Book. It's Something Real And Tangible That Sits On A Shelf Forever.

If Someone Picks Up One Thing You've Written, You Want Them To Go, 'wow, This Is Pretty Good.'

The Reason I Say I'm A Horrible Person Is I Don't Want Myself To Be Presented As Somebody Who's A Great Catholic.

Whenever One Of My Children Says, 'goodnight, Daddy,' I Always Think To Myself, 'you Don't Mean That.