Baby Carrots Are Making Me

A Native American Group Has Filed A Class-action Lawsuit Against The Government For Mismanagement Of Oil, Gas, Grazing, Timber And Other Royalties Since 1887. They're Seeking $100 Billion. Here's The Good News: The Government Has Responded What I Believe Is An Appropriate Counteroffer: A Two-cent Navajo Stamp.

Used Books Are The Sluts Of The Literary World. Passed Around From Person To Person, Spreading Their Pages For Anyone, Getting Cheaper And Cheaper Until Eventually They End Up In Prison.

I Not Only Loved Studying Theater, I Loved Being A Theater Major. It Gave Me An Excuse To Brood, To Grow A Beard, To Wear Black 'at' People. I Didn't Just Want To Play Hamlet, I Wanted To Be Hamlet.

I Did Learn Something Interesting [while At The Atlanta Airport]. You Have To Be A Member Of The Tsa In Order To Legally Perform A Cavity Search. My Apologies To The Staff Of Cinnabon, But You Guys Should Really Keep That Extra Frosting Where The Customers Can Find It.

If A Poor Family Falls On Hard Times In The Woods, And No One Is Around To Care, Did It Really Happen?