Award Shows Are Really Silly.

My Wife And I, We Work Together. And We Wrote This Book, "dad Is Fat." And In The Book, I Was Encouraged Constantly By My Editor To Be More Personal And Talk About More Personal Experiences.

I've Been Doing Stand-up For So Long, I Think 19 Years, That I Love Topics I Can Also Expand On. Once I Identify A Topic Like, Say, Seafood, Which Is A Big One Right Now, It's Like There Are Different Kinds Of Tangents I Can Go On To Build A Larger Chunk.

We All Take Mother's Day Seriously And Then It's Like A Month Later, A Bunch Of Kids Get Together And Say, "i Guess We Should Do This For The Old Man, Too." Father Day's Is Weird. It's Like Celebrating Darth Vader's Birthday. It's Odd I Think. Even The Gifts We Give Dads. Like Neckties, Which Are Just Like A Silk Noose. Or Books. Would You Ever Want Someone From Another Generation To Give You A Book?

I Only Dated One Asian Girl, But She Was Very Asian. She Was A Panda.

People Get Burned Out In Big Families, You Can Even See It In The Naming Of Children. Like The First Kid, "you Were Named After Grandma." The Seventh Kid, "you Were Named After A Sandwich I Had. Now Get Your Brother, Reuben."