At My Age, I Don't

The Thing That Bothers Me The Most Is The Recklessness And Greed Of The Local Ranchers, Who Run Too Many Cattle Back Here, Choking With Waste The Creek That Runs Through My Property. There's Certain Times Of Day That The Cowboys Like To Send Them Turds Down The River. Them F**kers Piss Me Off. If You Gotta Mess Up The Ecology Of The World In Order To Raise A Bunch Of Cows, Well Eat Somethin Else. I'm Not A Fan Of The Cowboys.

Evolution Is A Laughing Matter For Anybody That's Got A Rational Mind.

They Shaved A Little Piece Of Bone Off My Small Toe. You See, You Balance Yourself A Certain Way And This Toe Had Grown Under The Other Ones. So He Cut It Loose, Where I Could Balance Myself And It Makes Me Walk Straight.

I Probably Wouldn't Even Be Here Now If It Weren't For Chiropractic

Willie Nelson's The One Who Told Me The Reason It Costs So Much To Get Divorced Is Because It's Worth It.