Anybody Can Win - Unless

The Music Teacher Came Twice A Week To Bridge The Awful Gap Between Dorothy And Chopin.

A Bird In The Hand May Be Worth Two In The Bush, But Remember Also That A Bird In The Hand Is A Positive Embarrassment To One Not In The Poultry Business.

I Got The Breaks. Starting From Nowhere In The Corn Belt, I Helped Edit A Country Weekly, Then Was Jack-of-all-departments On An Obscure Daily, So That When I Arrived In A Big City Everything I Tackled In The Line Of Column Conducting And Syndicate Peddling And Playwriting Had To Bring Promotion, Because I Had No Social Standing Which Could Be Endangered, No Reputation To Toss Away And No Pride Which Might Suffer A Setback. Everything I Acquired Had To Be Velvet. You Cannot Lose Your Silver Spoon If You Are Brought Up On Pewter.

Even The Elders Can Give A Number Of Helpful Hints.

Do Not Give Alms Promiscuously. Select The Unworthy Poor And Make Them Happy. To Give To The Deserving Is A Duty, But To Help The Improvident, Drinking Class Is Clear Generosity, So That The Donor Has A Right To Be Warmed By A Selfish Pride And Count On A Most Flattering Obituary.