And We're Just All Made

The Good News Is Hopeful Doesn't Mean Dumb. The Bad News Is Cynical Doesn't Mean Smart.

I Don't Really Like Saying "the Gays"... I'm Not Sure Why. I Suppose I Say "the Jews." But I Don't Say "the Blacks." I Guess Because I'm A Jew For All Intents And Purposes And To Group People Together Of Which I Am Not One In Such A Casual Way Feels Disrespectful.

I Looked Up And Saw The Shape Of A Heart Made By The Silhouette Of Ben Affleck And Matt Damon Kissing.

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

I'm So Glad Courtney Love Is Here; I Left My Crack In My Other Purse.