An Oxymoron? What's That? A

In 1932, Lame Duck President Herbert Hoover Was So Desperate To Remain In The White House That He Dressed Up As Eleanor Roosevelt. When Fdr Discovered The Hoax In 1936, The Two Men Decided To Stay Together For The Sake Of The Children.

The Worst Gift Is A Fruitcake. There Is Only One Fruitcake In The Entire World, And People Keep Sending It To Each Other.

If Variety Is The Spice Of Life, Marriage Is The Big Can Of Leftover Spam.

The Hollywood Tradition I Like Best Is Called Sucking Up To The Stars.

I've Worked Ever Since I Was A Kid With A Two-bit Kit Of Magic Tricks Trying To Improve My Skills At Entertaining Whatever Public I Had - And To Make Myself Ready, Whenever The Breaks Came, To Entertain A Wider And More Demanding Public.