Always Drink Upstream From The

Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco. Never Kick A Cow Chip On A Hot Day. Never Miss A Good Chance To Shut Up.

So Here We Are In A Country With More Wheat And Corn And More Money In The Bank, More Cotton, More Everything In The World-there's Not A Product That You Can Name That We Haven't Got More Of Than Any Other Country Ever Had On The Face Of The Earth-and Yet We've Got People Starving. We'll Hold The Distinction Of Being The Only Nation In The History Of The World That Ever Went To The Poor House In An Automobile.

I Hope We Never Live To See The Day When A Thing Is As Bad As Some Of Our Newspapers Make It.

I Have Always Noticed That People Will Never Laugh At Anything That Is Not Based On Truth.

I Would Never Make A Good Economist. You Know, An Economist Is A Man That Can Tell You Anything About — Well, He Will Tell You What Can Happen Under Any Given Condition — And His Guess Is Liable To Be As Good As Anybody Else's, Too.