All's Fair If You Have

If Your Eyes Hurt After You Drink Coffee, You Have To Take The Spoon Out Of The Cup.

I Met Elvis First In Las Vegas. I Think I Was Appearing With Tom Jones And He Came Backstage To Say Hello To Tom Or We Went To His Dressing Room To Say Hello.

Teenagers Don't Know What Love Is. They Have Mixed-up Ideas. They Go For A Drive And The Boy Runs Out Of Gas And They Smooch A Little And The Girl Says She Loves Him. That Isn't Love. Love Is When You Are Married Twenty-five Years, Smooching In Your Living Room And He Runs Out Of Gas And She Says She Still Loves Him. That's Love.

All's Fair If You Have A Really Good Attorney.

My School Was So Tough The School Newspaper Had An Obituary Section.