All You Ever Really Want

I Am Making An Effort To Truly Live. I Don't Mean To Imply By That That I Haven't Been Alive Before But, With My Son Being Here And Such A Powerful Force In My Life, He's Given Me A Freedom To Be More. I Think That Sometimes We Can Get Stuck, And Just The Fact That He's Here Says So Much To Me About My Own Existence. I Didn't Think I'd Be Able To Have Children, And This Level Of Blessing Is Something I Can't Even Put My Finger On.

Back In My Mid-20s I Was Told I'd Never Be Able To Have Children As I Wasn't Having Periods. Doctors Tried To Start Up My Monthly Cycles, But When Nothing Worked, They Actually Offered Me A Hysterectomy. Without It, They Said I Might Get Ovarian Cancer In The Future. I Chose Not To Have The Operation, And Am So Glad I Didn't.

Being A Mom, It Feels Like I Did Something So Powerful And Amazing. It's Such A Gigantic Blessing, And A Confirmation That The Creator Exists. And All Of That Has Made Me Feel Sexier And Stronger. I Call It 'lava In My Spine.'

I Think I've Changed More As A Person And, As I Change As A Person, There Is New Added Creativity. I've Seen More... I've Met More People, Done More Things With Dogs, And Walked On More Beaches Since The Beginning. The More I See, The More I Wanna Do; And The More I Do, The More I Wanna See.

I Chose No. 1 Ladies' Detective, Or I'll Say It Chose Me, And It Was An Absolute Blessing, For The Experience Of Being In Africa For Seven Months And Learning So Many Different Things, From Languages To Foods To Greetings. On So Many Levels, It Was An Incredible Experience.