A Sports Bar Is A

Drunken Behavior Will Not Be Tolerated, Except By Those Who Are Being Hilarious.

The Easiest Time To Add Insult To Injury Is When You're Signing Somebody's Cast.

I Was Making Pancakes The Other Day And A Fly Flew Into The Kitchen. And That's When I Realized That A Spatula Is A Lot Like A Fly-swatter. And A Crushed Fly Is A Lot Like A Blueberry. And A Roommate Is A Lot Like A Fly Eater.

I Went To Law School. I Found It Interesting For The First Three Weeks.

The Sofa Is The Enemy Of Productivity.