A Nickel Is Not Worth

In Theory There Is No Difference Between Theory And Practice. In Practice There Is.

I Couldn't Tell If The Streaker Was A Man Or A Woman Because It Had A Bag On It's Head.

Pitching Always Beats Batting — And Vice-versa.

Referring To The Bad Sun Conditions In Left Field At The Stadium: It Gets Late Out There Early.

I Never Blame Myself When I'm Not Hitting. I Just Blame The Bat And If It Keeps Up, I Change Bats. After All, If I Know It Isn't My Fault That I'm Not Hitting, How Can I Get Mad At Myself?