A New Study Says That

Things Have Really Changed Here In Hollywood. Used To Be People In This Town Couldn't Wait To Get An Envelope Full Of White Powder.

A Lot Of Congressmen Yesterday Were Upset When Kenneth Lay Took The Fifth. Lay Said It Wasn't His Fault. He Had Planned On Testifying, But When Jeffrey Skilling Testified, He Took All The Really Good Lies.

I Was Going To Start Off Tonight With An Obama Joke But I Don't Want To Get Audited By The Irs.

Don't Forget Mother's Day. Or As They Call It In Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

This Week The White House Proposed Fingerprinting And Photographing Foreign Visitors So They Can Do Background Checks. Officials In Saudi Arabia Said This Will Only Increase Anti-american Feelings In The Mideast. Is That Possible? Gee, You Hate To Have People Dislike Us For No Reason. Things Were Going So Well.