A Home Without A Grandmother

Showing Up At School Already Able To Read Is Like Showing Up At The Undertaker's Already Embalmed: People Start Worrying About Being Put Out Of Their Jobs.

We Want A President Who Is As Much Like An American Tourist As Possible. Someone With The Same Goofy Grin, The Same Innocent Intentions, The Same Naive Trust; A President With No Conception Of Foreign Policy And No Discernible Connection To The U.s. Government, Whose Nice Guyism Will Narrow The Gap Between The U.s. And Us Until Nobody Can Tell The Difference.

Never Look On The Bright Side. The Glare Is Blinding.

If We Define A Misanthrope As 'someone Who Does Not Suffer Fools And Likes To See Fools Suffer,' We Have Described A Person With Something To Look Forward To.

To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas, Not Sins, That Matter In This World.