A Good Man Doesn't Just

I Think That All Comics Or Humorists, Or Whatever We Are, Ask Questions. That's What We're Supposed To Do. But I Not Only Ask The Questions, I Offer Solutions.

I Like Facts And Data Because They Help Me Think Clearly, Beyond The Cultural Messages That I Ingest Unwittingly, And Sometimes Find Myself Regurgitating Almost Unconsciously.

I Got, Like, Diane Keaton's Manager, And She Was Very Connected; She Had Power. And She Was Like, "your Star Is In Tears On This Comedy. Do You Even Notice That At All?"

My Husband And I Didn't Sign A Pre-nuptial Agreement. We Signed A Mutual Suicide Pact.

I Say I'm The Only Serious Comedian In The Presidential Race. And I'd Like To Take This Opportunity To Ask Both Romney And Obama To Debate Me. Because I Think That Both Of Those Guys - I Think That The American People Are Being Given A False Choice, Because The Choice Between The Lesser Of Two Evils Is A False Choice.