Too Many Comics Today Ramble.

I Was In A Beauty Contest Once. I Not Only Came In Last, I Was Hit In The Mouth By Miss Congeniality.

Burt Reynolds Once Asked Me Out. I Was In His Room.

There Isn't Any (afterlife), You Dingbat! This Is It, Baby! Enjoy, Carefully! Religion Is Such A Medieval Idea. Don't Get Me Started. I Have Thought About Every Facet Of Religion And I Can't Buy Any Of It. So God Made Man In His Own Image? It's Just The Other Way Around. Man Made God In His Own Image. It's All About Money.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

A Passport Picture Is A Photo Of A Man That He Can Laugh At Without Realizing That It Looks Exactly The Way His Friends See Him.