Never Go To Bed Mad.

The Reason I'm Not An Alcoholic Is I Don't Like To Drink In Front Of The Kids . . . And When You're Away From Them, Who Needs It?.

I Have Nothing Against Dogs. I Just Hate Rugs That Go Squish-squish.

I Buried A Lot Of My Ironing In The Back Yard.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.

The Real Reason Your Pro Tells You To Keep Your Head Down Is So You Can't See Him Laughing At You.