Men Lie The Most, Women

I Think All The Funny People Were Bullied. When They Talk About Outlawing Bullying, It's Like, What? You Want No Comedy Central?

Only Black People In The Whole Neighborhood, So Let's Break It Down: Me, I'm A Decent Comedian, I'm A'ight. Mary J. Blige, One Of The Greatest R&b Singers To Ever Walk The Earth. Jay-z, One Of The Greatest Rappers To Ever Live. Eddie Murphy, One Of The Funniest Actors To Ever, Ever Do It. Do You Know What The White Man That Lives Next Door To Me Does For A Living? He's A F*****g Dentist.

The Only Plan I Have Is To Not Do Anything I Don't Want To Do - And To Never Work Just For Money.

If You Wanna Get Away With Murder, All You Gotta Do Is Shoot Somebody In The Head And Put A Demo Tape In Their Pocket! 'this Is A Rap Killing! Let's Get Outta Here!'

Before I Was A Comedian, I Thought The Coolest Thing That Would Happen To Me Was Being A Teenager... Boy, Was I Wrong!