Your Best Work Involves Timing.

In Less Enlightened Times, The Best Way To Impress Women Was To Own A Hot Car. But Women Wised Up And Realized It Was Better To Buy Their Own Hot Cars So They Wouldn't Have To Ride Around With Jerks.

I Calculated The Total Time That Humans Have Waited For Web Pages To Load. It Cancels Out All The Productivity Gains Of The Information Age. Sometimes I Think The Web Is A Big Plot To Keep People Like Me Away From Normal Society.

Needing Someone Is Like Needing A Parachute. If They Are Not There The First Time You Need Them, Chances Are You Won't Be Needing Them Again.

As A Rule, I Don't Like To Laugh At The Misfortune Of Others. The Exception To That Rule Is If It's Really, Really Funny.

Of Course I Don't Look Busy, I Did It Right The First Time.