You Will Miss Her Sometimes.

When You're Teaching Creative Nonfiction, It Helps To Have Written About Your Life In A Very Open Way, Because You Can Say, 'look, How Much Are You Willing To Risk Emotionally To Write? How Careful Can You Be With The Other People You're Writing About?

One Really Ought To Be Afraid Of Self-torture. But It Tempted Me. It Begged. The Dark Place That My Mind Was Fast Becoming Blends, In My Memory, With The Dark Womb Of Church: The Chant, The Fugue Of Prayer, The Strange Erotic Energy That Carving A Very Small Cross Into My Thigh With A Nail Had Brought.

And Yet You Are All That You Have, So You Must Be Enough. There Is No Other Way.

When You Believe That You Are Not Worthwhile In And Of Yourself, In The Back Of Your Mind You Also Begin To Believe That Life Is Not Worthwhile In And Of Itself. It Is Only Worthwhile Insofar As It Relates To Your Crusade. It Is A Kamikaze Mission.

You Can Only Whine For So Long. Then You Need To Get Your Life Back.