You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything

You Don't Cruise The Internet Looking For Your Name And Walk Away With A Good Feeling. So, I Never Do It.

Rich People Don't Pay Taxes? Of Course They Pay Taxes - They Pay Tons In Taxes. They Pay For Everyone Else Who Doesn't Pay Taxes.

I Feel Like I'm A Time Traveler From The Future Who Has Been Sent Back To Be Annoyed.

I Got Drunk In Canada. I Was There For 2 Days But I Was Drunk There For 4 Days. I Don't Know How It Worked. I Guess It Was With The Time Difference Or Something.

California Is Like The Hot Blond High School Chick Who's Been Getting By On Her Looks, But Now She's 45 And Falling Apart.