You Should Be As Alive

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

One Thing That's Coming Up A Lot Is: Are You As Grumpy As You Appear From This Black Books Thing.

Don't Clap I'm Not A Jazz Band For Christ's Sake.

Lots Of Comics Try Stuff Out All Year Round, Which Is Very Sensible - I Don't.

My Drive To Put Myself On The Line Comes From Boredom. From That Feeling When You Go To Bed And Think, 'what Did I Do Today?' It Doesn't Have To Be Something Monumental, Just A Feeling That You Really Tried To Look At Something, Or Look Into Something.